

It tickles me when I hear Republicans talking about Obama
losing to the "generic" Republican candidate.
I'm not sure what the generic Republican would look like
or sound like or act like. I guess the only thing we can
be sure of his that he/she would work tirelessly to
make sure the rich never have to pay a cent more in taxes.
But since the GOP has to actually run a real, live human
being in 2012, let's take a second and go down the list.
Who's got a shot at winning the nomination and who's
just wasting their time?
Mitt Romney- Seems to be the odds on favorite to win
the GOP nomination. However, I've never met a Republican
who's actually enthusiastic about voting for him. Has
two groups standing strong against him: the anti-Mormon
voters and the anti-robot voters. Electable.
Michele Bachmann- she's gained a lot of traction in
Iowa lately. Of course, if you're conservative enough
to gain traction in Iowa then you're probably going
to slide all over the road in the other states.
Always one tough question away from completely losing
it. Electable... but what a nightmare scenario.
Herman Cain- seems like a nice guy but has no political
experience. Hates prejudice but also thinks there's
about a 99 percent chance any Muslim who attends a
mosque is getting ready to unleash Sharia law on
the country. Unelectable.
Rick Santorum- annoying, unlikeable and way too
concerned about what other people are doing in
the privacy of their own homes. Unelectable.
Ron Paul- charming and consistent and unelectable.
Tim Pawlenty- if he didn't have the guts to take on
Romney in the debate how would he deal with a 3am
crisis? Unelectable and really kind of a weasel.
Newt Gingrich- I'm amazed what a joke his campaign
has been. He's like a rodeo cowboy who can't seem
to get the bull to leave the shoot. Unelectable.
Jon Huntsman and Gary Johnson- a second Mormon and
a second libertarian. Unelectable squared.
And then you have the teases, Rick Perry and Mama
Grizzly Palin. He's unelectable because there's
no way America is ready to be led again this soon
by a good ol' boy from Texas. And she's unelectable
because actually campaigning is just too much
work for a big celebrity like her now.
How'd I do? Think I missed the mark on any of these
folks?